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GRIEF AND GRACE is the account of a six-month period in Tim Tucker’s life when he faced the unimaginable; losing his 38-year-old wife to a brain aneurysm.
Seventeen years old and faced with the most difficult situation of her young life. The only problem was that she had no idea what was actually wrong with her. Leukaemia? What is that? It’s cancer. ‘Am I going to die’, she asked.
Many thousands of South African children are brought up by their grandmothers. This is one of the many manifestations of an unstable and distraught society, where the mother to child bond is too often broken, causing pain and a deep-seated sense of loss to both parties. Each Gogo-raised child’s story is different, but the general theme is the same: it deals with abandonment, with only qualified acceptance, but most of all with the simple absence of a real mother presence. The title of Vanessa Neo Mathope’s book – Orphaned, with Living Parents – tells it all. A monstrous imbalance has occurred, and the consequences run deep.
That was how it had been with her marriage.
Say ‘yes’ and the road would take you. Say ‘yes’, say ‘yes’. The road had taken him right through to the end of his life and she had completed the circle with him.
It had been rugged in places and the tyres had worn thin. But in the end it had been a complete journey. A lifetime.
A shared incarnation. She had said ‘yes’ and travelled with him to the last breath. There is a last. She had been with him. And then her incarnation continued without him.
Greg Margolis (founder of NYPD Security) was for decades intimately involved in dealing with ‘random victims’ of crime or conflict, whether the victim was an individual, a family or even someone close to the victim(s), in many instances if they could, they often chose to leave the country ‒ this included the vast majority of Greg's extended family.
But Greg embodied the antithesis of a victim mentality – and chose to stay in SA, founding a non-profit security company in the late 90's, which then later expanded and evolved into a commercial security service provider in Johannesburg.
